


Coal

by E350tb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Christmas, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Multiple Endings, Transformation, petrification
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28302303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: Steven and Connie drop in to see Lars, only to find him in a predicament.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 9
Kudos: 27





	Coal

**Author's Note:**

> For the Cluster Christmas Event!

**Coal**

Connie didn’t know what she had expected to find when she emerged from the hair portal, but it certainly wasn’t this.

They had emerged in a dark chamber, surrounded by vast walls of obsidian black, the sound of her feet landing on the hard floor echoing around her. The only light came from above, where the jagged top of the canyon could be seen. She turned to Steven, who had landed on his side; he was letting out a somewhat pathetic ‘ouch’ as he climbed to his feet, shaking his head.

He pursed his lips.

“Hey Lars, what is this, some kind of old Homeworld mine?” he asked.

There was no reply.

“Uh, Lars?” asked Connie. “What’s-”

She turned around and gasped.

Lars stood there, a look of faint shock on his face, one arm slightly raised. His cape was being blown slightly to his right, and one leg was raised as if he was midstep. He was completely frozen, and made entirely of the same substance the cavern was made from.

“Lars!” Steven exclaimed.

Connie frowned, running a finger along Lars’ shoulder. He didn’t move, his foot firmly wedged onto the ground, and when she lifted her finger, it was covered in black dust.

“Coal,” she said. “He’s… _coal._ ”

“Coal?!” exclaimed Steven. “Why is he coal?!”

Connie looked around, her lips thinning.

“He’s not the only one,” she added.

Around Lars, there were four other coal statues - Fluorite, facing towards a tunnel on the far side of the cavern, looking almost like a boulder; Rhodonite, hand over her mouth, caught right at the crux of a panic attack; the Rutile Twins, staring at each other in horror; and finally Padparadscha, standing still and smiling sweetly.

“What happened?!” exclaimed Steven. “Why are they… _coal?_ ”

Connie rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

“Hmm,” she said. “This is very odd. This looks kind of like a mine, don’t you think?”

Steven’s eyes widened.

“A mine?” he exclaimed. “Why does that matter? Lars is coal, Connie! How is he supposed to celebrate the holidays with us now?!”

“I’m just thinking,” replied Connie. “If this is an old Homeworld mine, there must be some kind of security system! Lars must have tripped it!”

“And?”

“Well, first of all, we need to tread very, _very_ carefully,” said Connie. “But second of all, we might be able to find how to shut it off and turn them back!”

She looked around, regarding her surroundings. There was the tunnel Rhodonite was heading towards - but something about that felt wrong. She squinted, and immediately realised why - she could see the lights of the Sun Incinerator at the end; that was the way they had come.

On the other side, she could just about make out a steel door, painted as black as the coal around it. Perhaps there? It was as good a guess as any.

“Steven, we should probably get backup,” she whispered.

Steven reached for Lars’ hair, only to hit solid coal.

“We can’t,” he gulped.

Connie sighed.

“Well, it’s up to us, then,” she said. “Unless you can fly the Sun Incinerator home?”

“Nope. My license doesn’t cover starships.”

“Mine neither.”

Slowly and carefully, they crept towards the door. Connie felt her breath catch with every step, mentally waiting for herself to trip the security system, and for her shoes to start turning black and hard. It never happened, and they soon reached the door.

The two exchanged glances - Steven pressed his hand against the access panel on the side, and the door opened.

It was a small control station - a few old, flickering cameras, a couple of racks of destabilisers, and a round console with a few access points. At one, they could see Bluebird, one finger on the console, her body as black and hard as the rest of the coal in the mind - her face was caught mid-yelp. Connie shook her head - it looked like they’d found the culprit, at least.

“Why is she here?” demanded Steven.

“Who knows?” replied Connie. “We’ll figure that out later.”

Steven nodded, slowly approaching one of the two free stations. Carefully, he reached out and put his hand on the console.

“ _Welcome, unknown user. Security system activating._ ”

Steven choked. “ _Activating?!_ ”

“ _Please answer the override question for access to security controls_ ,” the console continued. “ _Loading question… I'm sometimes full, but I never overflow. What am I?_ ”

Connie’s eyes widened in realisation. 

“It’s a riddle!”

“It’s a what?” replied Steven.

“ _Incorrect answer. Activating security protocols._ ”

“ _Aa-”_

There was a flash, and Connie stepped back. Steven let out a strangled squeal which was suddenly cut off.

When the sunspots vanished from her eyes, Connie could see her boyfriend still in the console position, caught mid flinch - his body had been transmuted into coal, his jaw dropped in a silent scream. One foot was in the air, and he looked like he was about to tumble over onto his back.

“Steven!” Connie exclaimed.

She grabbed his shoulders - they were solid rock.

“Wait, why am I not… I’m organic,” mused Connie. “The security system must only work on Gem lifeforms or something.”

She turned to the final, free console spot.

“Don’t worry Steven,” she said, not sure he could even hear her. “I can fix this, I promise.”

She walked over to the last station, took a deep breath, and pressed her hand against the console.

“ _Organic signature detected_.”

Connie swallowed.

“ _Security override… Era III protocols active… authorised! Warning; failure to answer the question will result in immediate transmutation._ ”

 _Well,_ Connie thought, _looks like I’m not off the hook just yet…_

“ _Loading question… At night they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?_ ”

Connie pursed her lips.

 _At night they come without being fetched…_ what could that be? Her mind wracked for an answer, knowing that if she answered incorrectly, it may very well be it for her. Was it darkness? No, darkness was an _it_ , not a _they._ So was the night chill and the night bus, but it had to be something related to…

_...night._

Of course!

Connie cleared her throat and gave her answer.

“The stars!”

There was a long silence - too long for Connie. She felt a bead of sweat run down her forehead.

“... _correct. Access to security systems granted._ ”

“Yes!” Connie punched the air and let out a deep breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Alright computer, can you undo the last few, uh, transmutations?”

“ _Affirmative_ ,” the computer replied. “ _Undoing previous security activations. Stand by._ ”

There was another flash.

“ _-ah!_ ”

Steven tumbled off the console station, landing flat on his back. Without hesitating, Connie ran over to him, leaning down and grabbing him.

“Steven!”

“Oof, that was weird,” muttered Steven. “I feel really stiff…”

“You _were_ coal,” replied Connie. “Speaking of…”

They both turned to Bluebird.

She stared back, blinking.

“Ah, yes, the Steven and the Connie,” she said. “I, uh, um… _bye!_ ”

Like a rocket, she flew out the door, soaring up the deep canyon and into the distant sky. Steven and Connie stared after her.

“...we should probably catch her at some point,” said Connie.

“That’s a tomorrow job,” muttered Steven.

They strolled out, finding Lars and the Off Colors rubbing their heads and stretching their limbs. Steven grinned, and sprinted towards his good friend, tackling him into a hug.

“Oof! Steven!” Lars squirmed in his arms. “Hold up, I’m still recovering from being coal!”

“That’s not a sentence I ever expected to hear,” chuckled Connie, following Steven over.

“Trust me,” sighed Rhodonite, “I do _not_ recommend it.”

“Look out, Captain Lars!” exclaimed Padparadscha. “Bluebird Azurite is going to activate an old security system, and we’re going to be turned into coal!”

“ _Thanks Padparadscha_ ,” everyone said as one.

“So,” said Connie, grinning. “Good thing we got here before you had to spend too much time frozen in place, huh?”

Lars blinked at her.

“We’ve been stuck in here for three weeks,” he said bluntly.

Connie blinked back.

“Oh.”

She didn’t quite know if Lars was joking, but she very much hoped he was.

“Well, I guess that just means our catchup is gonna be all the sweeter!” exclaimed Steven. “I brought some food in my backpack, do you still have that grill dad gave you? Oh, and I brought vegetarian options, and…”

“Yeah man, I still have it,” chuckled Lars. “Man, I hope that stuff’s still in the packaging - I’m not eating sausages if they’ve just been lying around in your bag…”

The group strolled off towards the Sun Incinerator, ready for a lovely evening together. Before she headed through the tunnel, Connie shot a glance back towards the security room; she could just about see the console beyond.

A shiver ran down her spine, and she wondered what might have happened if she’d got it wrong. There were only three stations, and the frozen Steven and Bluebird had looked pretty hard to move… _if_ the Gems or the Diamonds had ever found them, of course.

She shook her head. What was done was done. It was time for everyone to forget their problems and have a moment to be thankful for what they had.

Still, she’d be going back in there with her sword to put the console out of commission.

_Just in case._

**The End**

* * *

**BONUS: The Bad Ending**

_...night._

Of course!

Connie cleared her throat and-

“ _Incorrect answer. Activating security protocols._ ”

“Wait, no! I was just-”

There was a flash.

When Connie’s vision adjusted, she found she couldn’t move - she felt weirdly cold and very stiff, and in the reflective steel of the console, she could see her black, dusty reflection, eyes wide and jaw dropped. She looked very silly indeed, she thought.

The machine had turned her into coal.

_Well darn._

She let out an internal sigh, cursing herself. Why had she cleared her throat first? Why did it matter if her voice was croaky? Now she was stuck here, frozen in place for the foreseeable future - possibly forever, if no one found them. If there was any better way to ruin the holidays, she couldn’t think of it.

Still, she supposed, there was a bright side.

At least this year, she wouldn’t have to eat her father’s cooking.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Chrimmas, everyone!


End file.
